There's a zoo animal on the train!

For the past 2 days, on the Kunming to Shanghai, China train, I haven't heard a single word of English spoken, besides from my mouth. Also, I haven't seen a single white person, besides the one in the mirror. I'm confused. Where are all the tourists? Doesn't anyone take a vacation to China anymore?
If not, I can understand why. China is the most frustrating country I've traveled in. Mostly due to the language barrier and lack of manners.
As the train chugs eastward, because of the language barrier, I'm forced into a solitary state. Being a highly social creature, this was difficult for me.

The Chinese passengers mosey by my cabin, do a double when they lay eyes on me, then pause to stare unabashed. I'm not embellishing the degree of their curiosity. If anything, I'm down playing it. I'm used to being stared at with my white skin and blonde hair. Sometimes I honestly feel like a q-tip. It's not cool to feel like a q-tip.

They even stop by the community sinks to watch me brush my teeth, which makes me feel incredibly nervous. I curl my toes tightly in order to stifle my nervous laughter that could violently spray the mirror with foamy toothpaste.
At the train station, on the escalator, a little girl turns around and stares at me curiously, then tugs at her mom's coat and whispers something, her mom turns around and joins her in the blatant staring. I look away, feeling their burning eyes upon me, hoping they get their fill quickly and divert their glances.
To be honest, I'm tired of all the stares and picture taking. It makes me feel completely out of place. I'm not an alien, I swear!
I feel sorry for zoo animals. Really, I do. All day long they sit in a cage as humans stare at them and take pictures. Yep, pretty much what it's like to travel through China.

My every move is under the scrutiny of watchful Asian eyes. They're not the least bit ashamed of their stares either.
For the long train journey, I shared my cabin with an elderly couple and a middle aged man, all Chinese. None of whom spoke a lick of English. Because I bought my ticket last minute, only the most expensive beds were left. You would think a Chinese of higher class would have more regard for manners. Wrong.
This intimate closeness with the Chinese over the last 2 days has allowed me to understand them a little better. Here is their typical daily schedule on the train:
Wake up. Eat a HUGE bowl of noodles. Burp. Hucking and snot rockets to follow. Stare at the white girl. Smoke. Crack seeds while talking loudly to each other. Smoke. Stare at me. Smoke until they morph into fire breathing dragons. Eat a large quantity of noodles. Burp. Fart. Stare. Crack seeds obnoxiously loud. More snot rockets and hucking. Smoke...... Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

My bunk mates are perpetually eating. Eating loudly. Smacking. I felt very American as I quietly munched on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That jar of peanut butter was like a prize sitting on the grocery store shelf!
Once, on a local bus, I sat across from an old Chinese lady. I was admiring her cuteness until I was suddenly shocked as I witnessed her huck a loogey disgracefully loud and spit it onto the floor. On the floor of the BUS!
The "no smoking" signs on the train are ignored, as usual. They puff away anywhere they darn well please. I get a sore throat and smokey-smelling clothes out of the deal. They are such considerate people, aren't they?
With these extremely frustrating circumstances, I need to find humor, in order to keep my sanity.
I find it hilarious when the locals start talking rapid Chinese to me, as if I speak it fluently. Do I look like I speak Chinese?! I wave my hands and explain, "I don't speak Chinese!" Though they still continue to ramble on.
The train ride is an excellent opportunity to spy on the Chinese countryside going-ons.
We pass by small towns with barely livable shacks and I wonder "is this where they get, 'there are starving children in China!' from?"

About halfway through the journey, the train jerks to a halt, somewhere in Timbuktu, China. I take my chances and wander off the train to buy a bottle of water and get some "fresh" air. I minded my own business as I shuffled along the platform. It seemed like all activity came to a standstill as they stopped to stare at me. I'm sure a lot of these country folks have seen very few white people. There are absolutely no tourists anywhere. I suddenly become acutely aware of my every move. I guess my curly blonde tresses are a stark contrast to their stick-straight black hair. The attention gets to me and I retreat back to the safety of the train. I finally  face the brutal reality: as long as my skin is white, they will stare.....