We are family

While I volunteer in Nepal, I live with a local host family. I didn't have high expectations as far as the accomodation goes, this is Nepal after all. After hearing some of the other volunteer's tales, I knew the host family experience had the potential to be unpleasant. But I was lucky enough to be matched perfectly with a wonderful family.



My host family includes: mom (Sankantala), dad (Sankar), sister (Ashmita, 17), and 2 brothers (Amul, 21 and Prithvi, 16). Their English insn't the best, but we get along just fine. A mixture of English and Nepali can be heard during our conversations. Once again, charades is a crucial element. My host dad speaks the best English.


My host mom is a robust woman in her 40's with a heart of gold. She always has something cooking in the kitchen, kind of like my own mom.

My host mom making roti (bread)

She doesn't work and she's the one you will always find in the home, at all hours. I was able to spend a lot of time with her, so naturally we grew close. She treated me like a daughter, even smooching me on the cheeck when I would leave. My host dad is a great person. He works as a taxi driver. My host sister, Ashmita, is a typical Nepali teenager. Giggly and girly. She likes fashion and worries about her looks too much. She's always hanging around me whenever I'm home, sitting so close and watching everything I do intently. She also holds my hand if we are walking somewhere. Even the boys hold hands here. It's funny to see this, but this is just the way of the culture. Very affectionate. Ashmita is the little sister I never had. She attends school, where she learns English, but still it is difficult for her to speak it. I help her with her English homework after school, hoping her English will improve. Amul is rarely home, he's 21 which means he's pretty much flown the coop. He goes out with his friends at night, drinking and chasing girls, from what I could get out of him. Prithvi is quiet, but very smart and accells in school.

my host home

Their house is located in a village on the outskirts of town, a 20 minute walk from town. The houses sit very close to each other, many of them with a water buffalo tied up in front or a few goats or chickens hanging around the yard (or street). The gravel roads have a steady flow of scooters, buses, cars and large trucks, making the air hazy with dust. It has a close community feel and everyone knows each other well. They are hard workers and can frequently be seen doing everyday chores such as cooking, caring for the animals, gathering hay, cutting wood, repairing their house..... all by hand.


Across the small footpath from my host family's home is a small house about the size of my bedroom, where a family of 6 lives. They are very poor and usually outside doing some kind of manual labor.

with the neighbor kids in their home

Sankantala's sister lives next door. Guess what her name is?
Sankantala.
I'm not kidding.
I have no idea how their mom kept them apart when they were younger. She floats in and out of the house at all hours of the day. She has an infectious laugh that creates a light mood. She has a daughter named Asma, who is a delight, such a sweetie. She's often at the house and is like a second daughter to my host parents.

Asma

Sankantala's sister, Sankantala

I have my own room, which isn't the Hilton, but it is private. I take that back, I do have to share it.... with a mouse. He's not too keen on me being there, either. The little bugger chewed a hole in my scrub pants and pooped on my bed, just to show me who's place it is. Late at night I'm awoken by his midnight mischief. He seems to be a night owl. I hear him scratching and running around, so I shine my flashlight under the bed to catch him in the act. But he's smart. It becomes silent. I'm desperately hoping I don't see him though, because I know I would let out a scream that would wake up everyone in the house. Or the neighborhood for that matter. As soon as I turn off the light, he's back at it again. I give up and put my ear plugs in.
There is no hot water. Guess what that means? Cold showers. It's so painfully cold it makes you let out a yip, uncontrollably, when you try to stand under it. The small cement shower room is located in the backyard, along with the squat toilet I haven't figured out how to flush yet. Our shower is full of daddy long legs, and has no light inside. A cold shower in the dark. That's creepy. Needless to say, I don't take many showers. Besides, you just don't feel clean after a freezing cold shower. I promise I'll never take hot showers for granted again. It's a joke among us volunteers that you throw personal hygiene out the window when you come to Nepal. But it's true. It's nearly impossible to be clean here. I'm craving the next times I can wash my clothes with a washer and dryer, or take a steaming hot shower, or bath, or fix my hair, or wear makeup....


But you just get used to these unpleasant realities of Nepali life. The warmth and welcoming spirit of the Nepali people make having to be dirty so worth it. If that's what I have to endure to experience this culture, so be it. This intimate experience with my host family has given me such a good grasp on the culture.


The importance and value of family are easily seen in Nepal. Every night, we eat supper together in the main living area. They eat with their hands, I use a spoon. They eat the same meal 3 times a day, called dahl baht, which is white rice with lentil soup poured over the top. There are usually vegetables involved, but never a fruit. Dahl baht is tasty, but I couldn't imagine eating it for every meal of my life. I like variety!! It's difficult for me to eat so much white rice when I would never dream of eating it back home. Let's face it, it's not the healthiest choice. My diet at home consists of mainly fruits and vegetables, so the switch to this type of diet is a little drastic. My host dad asked me if I eat rice in the US, I told him very rarely. (mostly in sushi) They were astonished. They also asked me if I ever wear a sari. I laughed. It's cute how innocent they are.

Ashmita putting henna on my hand

Everyone in the house is asleep by 10pm (except the mouse), since the electricity cuts out by 9. This is a good thing, because I'm unable to sleep a minute past 7am, not by my choice, however. For some ridiculous reason, in Nepal it's considered lazy to sleep in. The day starts at 5 am for this community. So at 7am, through my ear plugs, I hear my host mom yelling "Rachel?!, Rachel?!"
Ugh.
But she's so sweet I can't get upset with her for interrupting my beauty sleep. So I slowly swing my legs out of bed and walk over to open the door. She's holding a cup of tea, smiling ear to ear saying "tea?!" nodding her head fiercely as she shoves the cup into my hand. I look at her with my hair in a rat's nest, literally. I smile and say, "Dhanyabad", which means thank you, then politely shut the door. I set the cup on the nightstand and climb back into bed. Hehe. I don't mind driking cold tea, as long as I can sleep in :)

family pic~ Sankar, Sankantala, Ashmita

She's an excellent mom. Her and Ashmita are very close. They can frequently be found hanging out with me in my room. I'm rarely alone. We have lots of laughs. One night, they discovered my eyelash curler laying on the bed. Sankantala picked it up, obviously very intrigued by this contraption. I showed them how it worked and their eyes lit up. They enthusiastically looked in the mirror after I had curled their lashes for them. Next they picked up my razor. I showed them how it works by pretending to shave my legs with it. In unison, they loudly said "ahhh!"


Next I showed them a small magnified mirror. They peered at themselves through it and let out a shriek of surprise. They conversed in Nepali as they touched their face. If I had to guess what they were saying, it would be something like, "oh my gosh, with this mirror you can see everything! I have so much hair on my face!" It was like showing a mirror to a cave man for the first time.


After the excitement from the mirror was over, they started talking excitedly to each other in Nepali. They said to me, "Rachel, you wear sari!" Then they swiveled on their heels and were gone down the hall. They came back a minute later with a red sari, a box of jewely and makeup.
Oh boy.
It was a makeover whirlwind. I was their Barbie and they were playing dress up, and loving it. They feverishly wrapped the sari around me. Ashmita methodically wrapped the beautiful piece of fabric around my body, then Sankantala tugged at it, giving it the finishing touches. Ashmita went to work on my makeup as Sankantala put bangles around my wrists. My hair was French braided so quickly it made my head spin. A red decorative rope-like ornament was placed at the end of my braid, typically used for occassions such as weddings. I was totally decked out. They stood back to admire their work. They looked so proud. Then they started hopping around, saying "camera!, camera!"

They asked me "Why you not married, Rachel?" It's hard for them to comprehend why I'm unmarried at the ripe old age of 30. I just shrug my shoulders, knowing it's too complicated to explain to them with their limited English. The typical age for a female to get married in Nepal is 17-20. Males are usually mid to late 20's. My host mom says Ashmita will be married in 2 years, at the age of 19. She will choose the man Ashmita marries. I couldn't imagine...
From the minute I arrived, I instantly felt at home with my host family. They genuinely made me feel like I was part of the family and I enjoyed every minute I spent with them. They treated me with so much respect, making sure I was always comfortable. I'm going to miss them, but I know I'll be going home to a family I love... when I decide to go home.....