My eyeballs are floating

Before I hopped into a taxi in Cusco, Peru, I said goodbye to Dinh. We had no idea when we would see each other again. It was a sad farewell. It turned out to be 2.5 months. I waved goodbye to Dinh through the glass, then asked the driver to take me to the bus station where the buses go to Puno. I didn't realize he would bring me to the LOCAL bus station. Um... can you see I'm a gringa?

Hey there, cutie

Arriving at the bus station, I quickly scanned the area and got a bad feeling. It wasn't in the best part of town. 
With my head held high, I bounced along to the ticket window. I strongly believe that confidence wards off thoughts of evil acts by locals. 
I traversed the bus station and noticed it was crawling solely with brown hair and brown eyes. And a lot of them. There was a twinge of paranoia creeping into my mind.  
I fought the urge to blurt out, "What?! Never seen a white girl before?!"
After a little more investigation, I quickly discovered that there was not ONE single tourist in this busy bus station terminal. 

I felt a tad bit helpless. The possibility that things could turn sour were very real. I got a bad vibe, but I tried to push all the negative thoughts from my mind.

I bought a ticket for $7 to Puno. It was a 6 hour bus ride.
The man at the ticket counter said the bus left at 2 pm. I looked at my watch and it said 1:55. My big blue backpack bounced above my head as I scrambled as fast as I could around the local Peruvians. Once outside, I see a cluster of buses. 
Ok, which bus was mine? 
A fat man sitting on a stool pointed me in the right direction after I showed him my ticket. 
Short of breath from running and the altitude, I plopped into my seat, relieved. 
Even though I needed to use the toilet, I didn't dare get off the bus! I didn't need it leaving me with my bag on it!! Lordy Lordy, that would be a nightmare. (I've had it happen before!)

So 2:15 rolls around and the bus hadn't left yet. I think about how I could have peed like 20 times by now. The bus wasn't full. The driver was waiting for more passengers. I felt the air on the bus slowly change. People started to get impatient and restless. One by one, they started stamping their feet on the floor and yelling "vamos!" ("Let's go!") Then they started pounding on the sides of the bus. 

It was unbelievable. I started to get nervous, but at the same time I thought it was funny. This was complete lawlessness! You could never get away with this in the US! 
As I sat there, witnessing this naughty behavior, I thought, "I would have totally missed this side of Peruvians if I would have took the tourist bus."
Maybe they don't want you to see this side of Peru. They just want you to see pretty Machu Picchu, fork over your hefty fee, and then get out!!! I see how it is. 

Well, I'm a nosy traveler, and I gotta see the true side of a country, dang it!!!

I scrunched down in my seat a little and covered my mouth, stifling my nervous laughter. If they acted like this, what else were they capable of doing?
I pictured a riot breaking out. 

Oh man, why did Dinh have to leave me?!

All of a sudden, the bus rumbled with power as the driver gave in to the protests and started the engine. 

The really cool lime seats on the bus

For the next 3 hours, we drove through beautiful Peruvian landscape. Navigating through little villages situated in the mountains. There seemed to be a picture opportunity everywhere you looked. This is exactly what I pictured Peru to be. 

Countryside.... ahhhh

I sipped some water as I took in the views. 

One of the fun things about riding in chicken buses, is watching the vendors that board the bus, selling a hodge podge of things. 

Ladies with bright yellow bags suddenly invaded the bus. Everyone went crazy, yelling "aqui, aqui!" ("Here, here!") The ladies feverishly handed out the yellow bags and collected their money. 
The locals looked very excited about the bags. The looks on their faces were like they had won the lottery.
I was in amazement over the entire situation. 
After squinting hard enough, I discovered that in the bag there were breads the size of a steering wheel! 
I wondered if I was missing out on something big here. I contemplated buying a wheel, then decided against it. They carefully stored their precious bundles in the overhead compartments. The guy in front of me tied his to the curtain rope and for the rest of the journey it bounced with every bump on the road. Bright yellow plastic bags decorated the bus, giving it a cheery feel. 

On the next stop, a man came on and began preaching loudly in Spanish at the front of the bus. I listened carefully and discovered that he was selling a green powder that was supposed to be as good for you as vegetables, combating everything from arthritis to breast cancer. After about 45 minutes and only a couple of sales, the man exited the bus. 
I drank a little more water. 

I was pleased with myself, being able to understand the man's lecture in Spanish. My Spanish was definitely improving. 
I was the only English speaking person on this bus. 

3 hours passed and there was no bathroom break. This was no luxury ride. But what do you expect for only $7?
Did I mention I had drank coffee that morning?
I was having a VERY hard time holding my pee. I think the person before me did too, judging by the strong smell of urine emanating from the seat cushion. I felt every bump. I tried to distract myself, but it wasn't working. 
I asked the lady next to me when the next bathroom stop was. She didn't know. Finally, after my eyeballs were floating in urine, I went to the front of the bus and knocked on the glass door. I saw the ticket man try to shoo me away with his hand. I knocked again. This was important. He swung the door open and looked at me with a crease between his eyes. I smiled at him, held my stomach and asked in Spanish when the bathroom stop was. He said 30 minutes, in a gruff voice. "Segura? Mucho dolor!" (Are you sure? It's very painful!) I responded. He nodded his head and quickly slammed the door shut. 

I limped back to my seat with a look of agony on my face. I thought about what the locals would think if I peed in the plastic bag I had from my banana, or hang my butt out the window and let it go. 
I was thinking crazy thoughts. I had to pee SO badly!!! I can't remember the last time I had to pee this bad. 
I watched the clock closely. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. 
I talked to the lady and her 4-year old daughter sitting next to me to pass the time. 
After 35 minutes, the bus finally pulled into the bus station. I'm the first one off and the ticket man points in the direction of the toilet. I make a bee-line to the first toilet I saw, which happened to be the men's. I didn't care. I saw a toilet and I ran to it. I heard snickering as I was dumping my gallon of pee into the toilet. It was the biggest feeling of relief you can imagine. I swear I peed for a minute straight! I walked out and see other local men in the bathroom. I had no shame. I felt like a million bucks.