Getting swindled in Laos

I'll admit, I'm pretty proud of my ability to see through the lies I'm told from people trying to make a profit from me as a tourist. It's a trait that can only be achieved after logging many hours in your travel book, and learning from your mistakes along the way. Some locals lead a sad existence of preying on unsuspecting tourists to make a quick buck. It seems like I've seen every trick in the book. Same scam, different place. When I encounter one of these attempted shenanigans, I laugh in their face and declare, "that one's not working with me." Their demeanor changes quickly as they realize they're dealing with a seasoned traveler.
During the learning process, when I happened to get ripped off, sometimes I felt stupid, sometimes I felt angry and sometimes I'd laugh and say "that was a good one!" I'll give the local a little credit for their sneaky ways, if it's done in good nature. But sometimes it's done mean spiritedly, and that makes me angry.

Due to my vigilance, I've never had any large amounts of money swindled from me while I've been overseas. A little in Egypt, a little more in India. Nothing significant. There were times that I knowingly let it happen, knowing they needed the money more than I did. Their family needs to eat.

However, Laos takes the cake.

Here's the swindle story:

Laos is pretty undeveloped, so getting around can be difficult. It's best to go through organized tours when navigating the country. I bought a package deal that included 3 days of transportation from Thailand into Laos by slow boat along the Mekong River. 6 hours by mini-van, then two 8 hour days on the boat. This is a popular route among backpackers. I imagined the scenery being little riverside villages among picturesque green landscape. It was exactly that.

views along the Mekong

One of the village stops along the Mekong

On the mini-van ride to the border of Laos, I met the travelers that would be joining me on this 3 day adventure. 3 girls from Ireland, a girl from Chile and an American girl, named Ember. We all meshed well and shared lots of laughs. Our first night, in the town of Chiang Khong, we stumbled upon a celebration at the local temple. There were dancing performances by doll-like Thai children with faces full of make-up. It was adorable.

The locals warmly greeted us, joyful that we wanted to be a part of their culture for the night. We mingled toward the dance floor and had several happily intoxicated small-stature Thai men try to pull us onto the dance floor. Thailand is full of friendly, happy locals. This was my last night in Thailand, and I was saddened to be leaving this cheerful country.

The next morning, we lugged our back-breaking backpacks down to the river and hopped on a small unstable wooden boat for a short ride across the muddy river. Minutes later, we stepped off the boat and were in Laos!

Standing in Laos, looking at Thailand across the river

The visa process went through without a hitch and soon we were on our way to the slow boat. The tour coordinator met us at the border. He explained that he needed our passports, so he could make copies of our visas. He also advised that we should exchange our Thai bahts for Laos kip with him because it was much cheaper. He informed us that there would be no access to an ATM or money exchange for the next 2 days. Everyone reluctantly handed over their precious passport and Thai bahts to the seemingly trustworthy man. He passed around a piece of paper to write down our name with the amount of money we were exchanging. He did not count the money with us. We could have wrote any amount on the paper and there would be no evidence otherwise. I instantly had a bad feeling about the whole situation. No one asked any questions. I felt like I was the only one with any common sense out of the group of 20. I said to the man, "Are you crazy?! You want me to give you my passport and all my money so you can run off to the exchange office with it? Why can't I just go myself to exchange my money? This sounds shady. I don't trust you."

I was the only person that spoke up. I would guess the others were less experienced travelers.

I interrogated the man, "What's the exchange rate?" "What percentage do you keep for commission?" He said it was 1% and the exchange rate he told me was excellent. He said, "Listen, I have no reason to steal from you. I understand you don't trust me, but I'm a good man. I'll only be gone for 15 minutes." He looked at me with pure sincerity in his eyes. My intense stare shifted from one eye to the other, searching for any twinge of criminal in him.

Even though my gut was screaming "Don't do it!", I handed over my passport and money, as everyone else had done.

We are shuttled 2 minutes away by bus with the promise of the safe return of our passports and money in 15 minutes. We are dropped off at a small snack shop to wait. As the antagonizing seconds ticked by, I sat as nervously as someone awaiting the condition of their loved one after a risky surgery.

30 minutes later, 2 unknown Thai boys came back with our passports and money. I felt a rush of relief, but intuition told me there was a scam in progress. They feverishly pass them out, then shout, "Time to get on boat! Boat leaving!" Everyone rushes down to the dock about 100 feet away. I'm the only one that has the brains to count my money. I tell the Chilean and Irish girls to count their money also. I flip through the stack of Lao kips and hastily punch in the calculation on my iPhone. I soon discover I'm $58 short!!! 58 dollars!!! I frantically recount it 3 times. "This is the wrong amount!" I announce. The other girls chime in, "yea, mine is wrong too!"

We tell the boys that delivered them, but they pretend they don't speak English. On the verge of acting obnoxious, I explain to him we are all short money. He pretends like he doesn't understand, then says "boat leaving!" We're frustrated with no options available and are keenly aware of the fact that the boat is seconds within leaving. I feel so helpless. Half way around the world, getting stolen from, with no one that allegedly speaks English. It's times like these that I don't like traveling so much.

I scowled at the boys and sprinted down the hill to the boat dock. As I'm running, I spew out a string of foul swear words that would make Mother Theresa faint. Swearing always makes me feel better for some reason. :)

We are the last ones on the old wooden boat and it leaves the second we step on. Whew! Me and the Chilean girl, Gabriella, shuffle to the very back of the boat, searching for a seat. The only seats remaining are next to the deafening loud, smoking engine that spits out black oil. We are absolutely miserable in these horrendous conditions.

The good seats in the front of the boat that were all taken

We plop down in our seats, pissed off. Gabriella is in a frenzy. In her thick Chilean accent, she says she is $40 short. I see tears swell up in her brown Latina eyes. I try to comfort her but I'm severely upset myself.

Gabriella, in happier times

We eventually talk to the other travelers and realize everyone is short money. I fared the worst at $58, the others lost $20, $30, $40. That criminal just made hundreds of dollars off of us! We are so stupid! I bet he does this everyday. He must live in a mansion! It was obvious that his tactic was to give us our money back at the very last minute so we didn't have time to go back to retrieve the missing money. We would have missed the boat, and he knew that! What an evil weasel!! How can that crook sleep at night?!

I was outraged. $58 is a whole lot of money to me right now. It's a lot of money to anyone traveling for an extended period of time, just ask them. I'm on a strict budget and frequently refrain from buying things I want because of it. Then this weenie comes along and steals from me! $58 is probably more than most Laotians make in a month! You could probably buy a couple water buffalo's with that much money! I couldn't believe his level of greediness. He just ripped off HUNDREDS of dollars from us! I worked long hard hours at the hospital for that cash! There's just so many things wrong with this situation.The worst part is that he lied to my face. He looked me right in my eyes and lied. The deceit hurt, but I know there is a lot of bad karma coming to that sleazeball. My guard is up even more after this sneaky scheme.

I understand Laos is poverty stricken, but it still doesn't make it OK to steal my money. It's sad that they must go to such great lengths to dishonestly obtain money any way they can. I wouldn't have minded if it was $10, or even $15. But $58!!!!

This was a very negative first impression of Laos. Are all Laotians like this?, I thought. I knew I had to step it up a notch and be extra vigilant here. These people are pretty sly. It's like a game, trying not to get ripped off. I'm embarrassed to admit I let this happen. I should have known better.

Needless to say, the 8 hour boat journey was unbearably uncomfortable. We get our money stolen, then have to sit in the worst seats on the boat! This is so unfair! Hold on, I'm going to throw a temper tantrum......

On the bright side, when we docked, me and Ember (the American) found a sweet bungalow overlooking the Mekong river from our balcony. Oh, and there were also plenty of ATM's and money exchange offices there, contrary to what the thief had told us. As I gazed out into the Mekong river, I thought, "Let it go, Rach, let it go. You're too blessed to be stressed."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

View from our room